Love isn't a handbag.
2008-02-18 - 10:56 p.m.

Once again, I feel a wave of hopelessness drive over me as I realise that I'm in this on my own, I'm the only one who is here on earth with me through everything and I am the only support I have.

No. Fuck feeling like that.

I have GOD. I have God! Why the hell do I feel like this then? Does it make me a bad christian to have moments like this, where I feel alone?

I think not. I feel it's human instinct to feel alone, and to not want to be. As much as I love God and know he is here for me, can guide me, I need something in the flesh.

I need something here, someone I can touch, love I can see. Love I can feel, in my heart and in my skin.

Someone who smiles when I do something silly. Someone who can't stop looking at me. Someone who appreciates me. Hugs me when I'm sad. Knows exactly what to say.

I need that.

Uni starts next week, and I'm scared, and nervous, but so excited. It feels just right. Like I'm right where I'm meant to be.

I'm meant to do this. I'm meant to succeed. I'm meant to do this DAMN well.

I know I can.

I can do this uni year with God.

But I can't do life without that other person.

The one I haven't found yet.

When I fall in love- it's going to be the best moment of my life.

When I find love, it'll be forever.

prev / next
A few short excerpts - 2008-04-10
Falling... - 2008-03-25
The ups and downs of a very intense flatting life. - 2008-03-21
Love isn't a handbag. - 2008-02-18
Tattooes, handbags and the ex next door. - 2008-02-15